Lily, you had such a great storybook! When I saw the initial page, I was a little surprised at how basic it was, and I'm not sure how intentional or unintentional that is, but after reading your introduction I understood why it was so bland- it's like a newspaper! I can't say it's aesthetically pleasing but it definitely goes along with your central theme. I also thought the title on the home page was a little boring... but like I said, that was until I read the intro and realized, nope! This is not going to be boring! I also liked your picture on the home page, it fits very nicely with your storyline, and I instantly knew where this Gaeilge Diary was going to come from. I thought it was interesting you picked Celtic as the language for the letter in the bottle! Was it because of how rare the language is, or was it for some other reason because it seems a little random; I never would have thought of that! In the intro, I think you set up the story extremely well; I understand the background, what all happened with the bottle, and where exactly in the line of events we are now! I hope you're planning on publishing the content of the stories over the next few stories! I'm really intrigued as to what they are.. Overall though, I think it's really creative that you made it an article/newspaper format, and I really enjoyed reading it!
Hi Lily! I thought the beginning of your storybook was very interesting. I’m going to start out by talking about your cover page, then moving on to your introduction. I loved the picture on your cover page. Without even knowing what your storybook was going to be about, the letter in the bottle set the scene. I like the setup of the page. The theme is a little bland, considering the topic is an island. However, it is an appropriate theme for a news report, so I think it just depends on where you take your stories next.
I thought your introduction was very good. It pulled me in and had me wondering if the stories were real, what happened to the girl, and where this island was. It was very interesting to read about. I only have a couple of little suggestions for the introduction page. I took a journalism class last year, and journalists always include at the beginning where they are reporting from in all caps for the city and abbreviated state name. For example, if you wanted this to be a news report from America (the example is from Florida since the bottle was found in Cuba), it may be cool to do something like:
MIAMI, Fla. – An unknown bundle of papers was found in a bottle off the coast of Havana, Cuba.
Don’t feel obligated to do this if you don’t want, but I just thought it may be interesting. Overall, great job. I really enjoyed reading it. Good luck! I’ll look forward to reading more!
I would maybe put a little blurb or something on the cover page. I honestly didn’t know what to expect until I read through part of the introduction. Maybe just put a clue as to what your storybook is about or maybe move part of your introduction to that page? I’m not exactly sure, but I would include something to give the reader a sense of what your storybook will be about. As for your introduction, I really liked how you chose a newspaper-type introduction format. That was really unique. I liked the explanation of how they came to be translated. I am intrigued that you say the girl’s name is never mentioned, and I am excited to see how you execute this strategy. You really went all out! I liked that you gave contact information for O’Murchadha. Your first story was very intriguing. I liked your descriptions of the animals. I haven’t heard of the animal with the body of a dog and face of raccoon before, so that was interesting. I kind of wish you would have explained it a little more. I also hadn’t heard of the creature that could be both a woman and a crow. I am so happy you included what story and unit you got this story from so I can read it. You really captured my attention!
Hey Lily! Let me start off by saying I really really liked your storybook. It was so interesting and I cannot wait to read the rest of the stories you have planned. First, I like that the layout and colors of your storybook are so clean and simple. I feel like it allows for more attention to be on the words of your introduction and story. Also, the picture on your cover page is a nice touch to a main part in the story, a message in a bottle. Second, I thought you did a great job in your introduction setting up the foundation for what your stories would be about without giving away too much information. The reader is allowed to know somewhat of what is written on the letter in the bottle, but in order to really know, we have to read the story. Great job on that! Third, by the end of your first story, I was hoping you had written another story so I could read it, but I guess I will just have to come back next week to read your next one. Your first story was very enjoyable to read and I liked that the girl found the crow lady to help her out a little bit, or else she probably would have starved! Also, I thought it was funny when the girl found an animal that looked like a horse with a horn in the middle of its head. Maybe unicorns are real! Haha overall great job!
The website looks quite nice. The cover image is very nice and suitable to the story’s theme, and the plain white with black letters matches well with the fact that the story is taking the form of a news report. You did a good job maintaining a very factual, no frills style for the introduction in keeping with the idea that it’s a news article. At the same time, you provided tantalizing hints of what we’ll be in for as readers as you reference a werewolf and mermaids and raccoon dogs. The introductions strikes a good balance between teasing readers with what’s to come while still maintaining the papers’ overall mystery. The first stories switch to a more personal and experiential style. The wonder of the enigmatic narrator at the many types of strange creatures she encounters echoes well the feelings of the reader. I like how you make passing reference to animals like the unicorn and the griffin but give them a new sense of strangeness by portraying the narrator as being less familiar with these legendary creatures. Overall, I really like the concept of your storybook. Bringing together the various stories associated with all types of mythical beings, from werewolves to tanuki, is a really cool idea that should be a lot of fun for you to write about.
Thank you Lily for your constructive criticism. It is always helpful when someone else re-reads your work as they tend to sometimes find things you may have missed. Once again Thank you.
Hi Lily, Thank you so much for your comments on my storybook! I wound up making some adjustments thanks to you, and I think my story flows better now! Thanks again for the comments!
So I have just started reading your storybook and I must say, I am glad you did a news report style. Mostly because I think you have a very good news anchor name! I can just imagine watching the news and then, "Lily Oliver here with news on the mysterious 'zoo' pages!". It is great! I am also excited to read about the Tanuki! I know that they are the shapeshifting raccoon dogs and I loved them when I was learning about them in my japanese classes in high school! So far your introduction is great and I am SO excited to read the other stories!
I absolutely love your first story. I felt for the girl and I was so happy when the crow gave her the fruit! I am so curious as to why the girl is on the island as well as all of the other creatures! I think my favorite part of your first story is when you have the crow woman speaking to the girl in perfect Gaeilge, reminding us that the girl does not actually speak English. It helps to create the girl's character even more! It is the little things like the language, that make the story just that much better! I am definitely going to come back and keep reading your storybook! OH! I almost forgot. Another thing I liked about your first story is how you used shapeshifter stories to categorize it! It isn't a very obvious theme but when you say it, it makes so much sense! And you made the stories flow so seamlessly together I didn't even realize how many stories you had incorporated until I read your Author's Note. So again, amazing job! I can't wait to read more!
I love the way you've mixed material from various tales into your first Storybook story. Not only that, but you incorporate multiple languages to show how diverse your content is. As a language major, I love to see that, and I'm trying to do it with my own Storybook.
The coverpage works very well since it captures the main impetus of these stories. The image fills the page, and the white background isn't too glaring.
By the way, have you ever written as a news reporter? My dad is a journalist, and I must say that you have a good sense of news 'flow'. The first sentence in an article is called a lead, and if you already know this, then skip down to the next paragraph. The lead is the most important part of the article, and to make yours perfect, I would just add a date before "off the coast of Havana, Cuba."
There was just one sentence in your first story that confused me: "I get the feeling there will be worse tomorrow." It does not read well to me, and I cannot figure out what you meant to say. You'll have a much better idea than I will. Other than that, I like where this is going!
Your cover page caught my eye. The picture gives a mysterious vibe to the storybook and definitely pops out. The blank white page gives the appearance of a newspaper story. You may think about using a newspaper as a background behind the white text boxes. It might make it a little more visually appealing.
I thought it was interesting that you chose to put your character in Havana, Cuba. Knowing your background from your introduction from earlier in the class, I understand your fascination with languages and found it cool that you get to incorporate three different languages and cultures just with one story.
I also thought it was interesting that the article references bloggers arguing over the validity of the discovered journal. In the age of technology, information spreads quickly and everyone has an opinion.
As I read your stories of Day 7 & 8, I realize that you were able to incorporate many more than just the original three language and cultures. Your author's note and glossary helped clear up some questions that I had, so you should be sure to continue to include explanations for those of us who have trouble keeping it all straight.
Lily, I like the title of your coverpage. It is very interesting. Not sure what “Gaeilge” means but I am sure I will figure it out as I read your introduction and first story. Now about your coverpage, I’m guess the reason you decided to go with a plain background is because your story will be about entries in a diary, which is fine to me, I like it. Your intro was Great and very different! It was not what I was expecting, but in a good way. It’s funny how Castillo did not thing to check what was inside of the cork when he found it. Maybe he also just wanted to preserve whatever it was inside. The Diary seems very interesting to read since it is about a girl who got lost on an island. I can’t wait to hear the different stories of the mysterious new creatures. Hopefully in the end she finds her way. Day 7 & 8 kept me on the edge of my seat! I wondering the whole time what the girl was going on the random island, and why are all the animals in cages? Maybe they all belong to some collector of some sort. The Crow Woman definitely “Seems” like she is nice, but you never know. She might be the evil one and want you to let her out in the future. I can’t wait to finish your story book.
Wow Lily!!! Great storybook!!!! I'm not a bit surprised that you chose Gaelic -- you language lover you!!! I loved your introduction and the way you set up the story for your readers. I mean, you could've just landed us on the island with the marooned girl. But you did something far more creative by setting up the message in the bottle. Very interesting twist. The way you did this, really set us up nicely for your breaking news story. It was nice to have a background on this message in a bottle. I wonder what the material was that kept the paper inside the bottle in perfect condition. Do we get to find out?
I loved your diary layout for the story. I remember a good deal of these stories from the Persian unit when I read it. The Wolf-Aunt was one of my favorites. And I'm glad the girl in your story received a warning about that particular creature.
But whose zoo is this? How did it come to be there? Is it all coincidence or is it something more? I'm anxious to see what happens in your next story. I think you're an excellent storyteller and you found a very creative way to incorporate your love of languages. Nicely done!
So I had absolutely no idea what to expect from your Storybook based on your title... But I think that that is a great thing! I was definitely curious to figure out what your storybook was about. Your cover page was nice too. I really liked the picture you chose! And your introduction was just and cryptic and enticing as your title. The whole idea that a document could last so long in a bottle at sea is really intriguing. Your intro gave just enough information to get me hooked, and it made me want to get to your actual stories so that I could figure out what was going on haha.
Your first story answered some questions, but it also asked a bunch of other ones. I enjoyed reading about how this girl kept running into mysterious and magical animals that could shape-shift. But I desperately want to know why she is on the island in the first place! Your writing style for the diary entries definitely has the feel of girl that is scared and confused. On the other hand, your news article that was your introduction felt very professional and factual. So I think you're doing a great job of using your writing style to fit your content. This is a great storybook! Congrats and keep it up!
Lily, After reading your Storybook for the first time, I was immediately drawn in with your Introduction. I wanted to know more, I love how you chose to write an official news report, I thought that was incredibly creative. Great job, especially with the dialogue! I thinking inserting that dialogue really improved your official report, since I feel like reports can be quite boring to read. I am actually doing a diary type style for my storybook so I was excited to see you were doing the same. These diary entries were very interesting with the shape shifters. I'm glad you explained that in your author's note, otherwise I probably would have been a little confused since I did not read that particular unit. I loved the sense of danger and adventure. I thought the pictures you chose were perfect for all three pages. I thought the days 12 and 13 diaries were also very interesting. The part of the story about the mermaid’s persuading/seducing men reminded me of the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean”. I am excited to see what diary posts you will come up with next. This seems like such a fascinating storyline.
I actually have made a point to follow your story because I loved reading the intro and first story so much! I really liked how you took the main ideas of the stories and worked them into one character. I think that is a brilliant and original idea! I also really like how you kept the crow lady as the girl's spirit guide on the island. All good stories have that mother/ guidance figure and I think it builds up your story so well! I want to know where the girl is SO STINKING BAD!!! As well as how all of the creatures got there! I am dying to know!!!! I will keep coming back to your story in hopes of finding out!
Hey Lily! Finally get to read your storyboard and I’m super excited :D The coverpage intrigues you right away, which was really nice. The picture was really nice and the layout looks great. I love the set up your introduction page gives. The news report angle is really nice, and the names all look highly authentic. It looks like a real news report, and your made up university email just adds a nice touch of realism. It also helps to explain the topic adequately and evokes curiosity. It’s missing a picture, but with the layout I’m not really sure that one would fit. The stories you have are great, the layout reminds me a bit of discarded paper you find in video games that explains the story bit by bit. The authors notes could use a bit more substance as to the actual story explanation, but it’s generally easy to get the gist. The writing is really well done, and the sheer variety of all your creatures is wonderful to see. Overall it’s a great project! I’m really excited to see it all and can’t wait to read the last two stories. It’ll be neat to see if there’s any purpose to her being there, or if she’ll meet someone like The Collector (Guardians of the Galaxy).
OH MY GOODNESS. The most recent story, Entry 23, I think is my favorite so far. It answers so many questions, gives us more background to the girls family, even what could have possibly brought her to the island! But then we have so many new questions!!! Who is the na daoine maithe? Why is the zoo there? Where did the other creatures come from? Where is the zoo? What did the other creatures do to get there? What did the girl actually do to get herself there? Will she ever get home? I WANT TO KNOW SOOOOO BAD!!! I actually have a quick link to your story I like it so much... You do such a great job of pulling the readers in to every single one of your stories in so many different ways. And I love how you subtly work the storytelling into your storybook and work it to your own needs. I feel like that is what I do, but I think I twist them around a lot more sometimes. Anyway, I am so stinking excited to read more if you end up putting another story up! Even if you don't have to you so should... otherwise I might die of curiosity... Keep up the amazing work!
Thank you for commenting on my story about the envious neighbor. I chose to portray the story from the dog’s point of view because my dog actually passed away last September and I miss her every day and telling the story like the dog is still watching over the owners brought me some comfort. I’m super sentimental in that way, I guess. Haha. So, I thought that would add a happier tone to the story. I am an animal-lover, as well and hated the idea of the dog just dying. So, I told it from doggy heaven (which is totally real!). I also really like the total of your blog page "Your brain on myth". I thought that was really funny.
Lily, you had such a great storybook! When I saw the initial page, I was a little surprised at how basic it was, and I'm not sure how intentional or unintentional that is, but after reading your introduction I understood why it was so bland- it's like a newspaper! I can't say it's aesthetically pleasing but it definitely goes along with your central theme. I also thought the title on the home page was a little boring... but like I said, that was until I read the intro and realized, nope! This is not going to be boring! I also liked your picture on the home page, it fits very nicely with your storyline, and I instantly knew where this Gaeilge Diary was going to come from. I thought it was interesting you picked Celtic as the language for the letter in the bottle! Was it because of how rare the language is, or was it for some other reason because it seems a little random; I never would have thought of that! In the intro, I think you set up the story extremely well; I understand the background, what all happened with the bottle, and where exactly in the line of events we are now! I hope you're planning on publishing the content of the stories over the next few stories! I'm really intrigued as to what they are.. Overall though, I think it's really creative that you made it an article/newspaper format, and I really enjoyed reading it!
ReplyDeleteHi Lily! I thought the beginning of your storybook was very interesting. I’m going to start out by talking about your cover page, then moving on to your introduction. I loved the picture on your cover page. Without even knowing what your storybook was going to be about, the letter in the bottle set the scene. I like the setup of the page. The theme is a little bland, considering the topic is an island. However, it is an appropriate theme for a news report, so I think it just depends on where you take your stories next.
ReplyDeleteI thought your introduction was very good. It pulled me in and had me wondering if the stories were real, what happened to the girl, and where this island was. It was very interesting to read about. I only have a couple of little suggestions for the introduction page. I took a journalism class last year, and journalists always include at the beginning where they are reporting from in all caps for the city and abbreviated state name. For example, if you wanted this to be a news report from America (the example is from Florida since the bottle was found in Cuba), it may be cool to do something like:
MIAMI, Fla. – An unknown bundle of papers was found in a bottle off the coast of Havana, Cuba.
Don’t feel obligated to do this if you don’t want, but I just thought it may be interesting. Overall, great job. I really enjoyed reading it. Good luck! I’ll look forward to reading more!
I would maybe put a little blurb or something on the cover page. I honestly didn’t know what to expect until I read through part of the introduction. Maybe just put a clue as to what your storybook is about or maybe move part of your introduction to that page? I’m not exactly sure, but I would include something to give the reader a sense of what your storybook will be about. As for your introduction, I really liked how you chose a newspaper-type introduction format. That was really unique. I liked the explanation of how they came to be translated. I am intrigued that you say the girl’s name is never mentioned, and I am excited to see how you execute this strategy. You really went all out! I liked that you gave contact information for O’Murchadha. Your first story was very intriguing. I liked your descriptions of the animals. I haven’t heard of the animal with the body of a dog and face of raccoon before, so that was interesting. I kind of wish you would have explained it a little more. I also hadn’t heard of the creature that could be both a woman and a crow. I am so happy you included what story and unit you got this story from so I can read it. You really captured my attention!
ReplyDeleteHey Lily! Let me start off by saying I really really liked your storybook. It was so interesting and I cannot wait to read the rest of the stories you have planned. First, I like that the layout and colors of your storybook are so clean and simple. I feel like it allows for more attention to be on the words of your introduction and story. Also, the picture on your cover page is a nice touch to a main part in the story, a message in a bottle. Second, I thought you did a great job in your introduction setting up the foundation for what your stories would be about without giving away too much information. The reader is allowed to know somewhat of what is written on the letter in the bottle, but in order to really know, we have to read the story. Great job on that! Third, by the end of your first story, I was hoping you had written another story so I could read it, but I guess I will just have to come back next week to read your next one. Your first story was very enjoyable to read and I liked that the girl found the crow lady to help her out a little bit, or else she probably would have starved! Also, I thought it was funny when the girl found an animal that looked like a horse with a horn in the middle of its head. Maybe unicorns are real! Haha overall great job!
ReplyDeleteThe website looks quite nice. The cover image is very nice and suitable to the story’s theme, and the plain white with black letters matches well with the fact that the story is taking the form of a news report.
ReplyDeleteYou did a good job maintaining a very factual, no frills style for the introduction in keeping with the idea that it’s a news article. At the same time, you provided tantalizing hints of what we’ll be in for as readers as you reference a werewolf and mermaids and raccoon dogs. The introductions strikes a good balance between teasing readers with what’s to come while still maintaining the papers’ overall mystery.
The first stories switch to a more personal and experiential style. The wonder of the enigmatic narrator at the many types of strange creatures she encounters echoes well the feelings of the reader. I like how you make passing reference to animals like the unicorn and the griffin but give them a new sense of strangeness by portraying the narrator as being less familiar with these legendary creatures.
Overall, I really like the concept of your storybook. Bringing together the various stories associated with all types of mythical beings, from werewolves to tanuki, is a really cool idea that should be a lot of fun for you to write about.
Thank you Lily for your constructive criticism. It is always helpful when someone else re-reads your work as they tend to sometimes find things you may have missed. Once again Thank you.
ReplyDeleteHi Lily, Thank you so much for your comments on my storybook! I wound up making some adjustments thanks to you, and I think my story flows better now! Thanks again for the comments!
ReplyDeleteSo I have just started reading your storybook and I must say, I am glad you did a news report style. Mostly because I think you have a very good news anchor name! I can just imagine watching the news and then, "Lily Oliver here with news on the mysterious 'zoo' pages!". It is great! I am also excited to read about the Tanuki! I know that they are the shapeshifting raccoon dogs and I loved them when I was learning about them in my japanese classes in high school! So far your introduction is great and I am SO excited to read the other stories!
ReplyDeleteI absolutely love your first story. I felt for the girl and I was so happy when the crow gave her the fruit! I am so curious as to why the girl is on the island as well as all of the other creatures! I think my favorite part of your first story is when you have the crow woman speaking to the girl in perfect Gaeilge, reminding us that the girl does not actually speak English. It helps to create the girl's character even more! It is the little things like the language, that make the story just that much better! I am definitely going to come back and keep reading your storybook! OH! I almost forgot. Another thing I liked about your first story is how you used shapeshifter stories to categorize it! It isn't a very obvious theme but when you say it, it makes so much sense! And you made the stories flow so seamlessly together I didn't even realize how many stories you had incorporated until I read your Author's Note. So again, amazing job! I can't wait to read more!
I love the way you've mixed material from various tales into your first Storybook story. Not only that, but you incorporate multiple languages to show how diverse your content is. As a language major, I love to see that, and I'm trying to do it with my own Storybook.
ReplyDeleteThe coverpage works very well since it captures the main impetus of these stories. The image fills the page, and the white background isn't too glaring.
By the way, have you ever written as a news reporter? My dad is a journalist, and I must say that you have a good sense of news 'flow'. The first sentence in an article is called a lead, and if you already know this, then skip down to the next paragraph. The lead is the most important part of the article, and to make yours perfect, I would just add a date before "off the coast of Havana, Cuba."
There was just one sentence in your first story that confused me: "I get the feeling there will be worse tomorrow." It does not read well to me, and I cannot figure out what you meant to say. You'll have a much better idea than I will. Other than that, I like where this is going!
Your cover page caught my eye. The picture gives a mysterious vibe to the storybook and definitely pops out. The blank white page gives the appearance of a newspaper story. You may think about using a newspaper as a background behind the white text boxes. It might make it a little more visually appealing.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was interesting that you chose to put your character in Havana, Cuba. Knowing your background from your introduction from earlier in the class, I understand your fascination with languages and found it cool that you get to incorporate three different languages and cultures just with one story.
I also thought it was interesting that the article references bloggers arguing over the validity of the discovered journal. In the age of technology, information spreads quickly and everyone has an opinion.
As I read your stories of Day 7 & 8, I realize that you were able to incorporate many more than just the original three language and cultures. Your author's note and glossary helped clear up some questions that I had, so you should be sure to continue to include explanations for those of us who have trouble keeping it all straight.
Lily,
ReplyDeleteI like the title of your coverpage. It is very interesting. Not sure what “Gaeilge” means but I am sure I will figure it out as I read your introduction and first story. Now about your coverpage, I’m guess the reason you decided to go with a plain background is because your story will be about entries in a diary, which is fine to me, I like it.
Your intro was Great and very different! It was not what I was expecting, but in a good way. It’s funny how Castillo did not thing to check what was inside of the cork when he found it. Maybe he also just wanted to preserve whatever it was inside. The Diary seems very interesting to read since it is about a girl who got lost on an island. I can’t wait to hear the different stories of the mysterious new creatures. Hopefully in the end she finds her way.
Day 7 & 8 kept me on the edge of my seat! I wondering the whole time what the girl was going on the random island, and why are all the animals in cages? Maybe they all belong to some collector of some sort. The Crow Woman definitely “Seems” like she is nice, but you never know. She might be the evil one and want you to let her out in the future. I can’t wait to finish your story book.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteWow Lily!!! Great storybook!!!! I'm not a bit surprised that you chose Gaelic -- you language lover you!!! I loved your introduction and the way you set up the story for your readers. I mean, you could've just landed us on the island with the marooned girl. But you did something far more creative by setting up the message in the bottle. Very interesting twist. The way you did this, really set us up nicely for your breaking news story. It was nice to have a background on this message in a bottle. I wonder what the material was that kept the paper inside the bottle in perfect condition. Do we get to find out?
ReplyDeleteI loved your diary layout for the story. I remember a good deal of these stories from the Persian unit when I read it. The Wolf-Aunt was one of my favorites. And I'm glad the girl in your story received a warning about that particular creature.
But whose zoo is this? How did it come to be there? Is it all coincidence or is it something more? I'm anxious to see what happens in your next story. I think you're an excellent storyteller and you found a very creative way to incorporate your love of languages. Nicely done!
Hey Lily,
ReplyDeleteSo I had absolutely no idea what to expect from your Storybook based on your title... But I think that that is a great thing! I was definitely curious to figure out what your storybook was about. Your cover page was nice too. I really liked the picture you chose! And your introduction was just and cryptic and enticing as your title. The whole idea that a document could last so long in a bottle at sea is really intriguing. Your intro gave just enough information to get me hooked, and it made me want to get to your actual stories so that I could figure out what was going on haha.
Your first story answered some questions, but it also asked a bunch of other ones. I enjoyed reading about how this girl kept running into mysterious and magical animals that could shape-shift. But I desperately want to know why she is on the island in the first place! Your writing style for the diary entries definitely has the feel of girl that is scared and confused. On the other hand, your news article that was your introduction felt very professional and factual. So I think you're doing a great job of using your writing style to fit your content. This is a great storybook! Congrats and keep it up!
Lily,
ReplyDeleteAfter reading your Storybook for the first time, I was immediately drawn in with your Introduction. I wanted to know more, I love how you chose to write an official news report, I thought that was incredibly creative. Great job, especially with the dialogue! I thinking inserting that dialogue really improved your official report, since I feel like reports can be quite boring to read.
I am actually doing a diary type style for my storybook so I was excited to see you were doing the same. These diary entries were very interesting with the shape shifters. I'm glad you explained that in your author's note, otherwise I probably would have been a little confused since I did not read that particular unit. I loved the sense of danger and adventure. I thought the pictures you chose were perfect for all three pages. I thought the days 12 and 13 diaries were also very interesting. The part of the story about the mermaid’s persuading/seducing men reminded me of the movie “Pirates of the Caribbean”. I am excited to see what diary posts you will come up with next. This seems like such a fascinating storyline.
I actually have made a point to follow your story because I loved reading the intro and first story so much! I really liked how you took the main ideas of the stories and worked them into one character. I think that is a brilliant and original idea! I also really like how you kept the crow lady as the girl's spirit guide on the island. All good stories have that mother/ guidance figure and I think it builds up your story so well! I want to know where the girl is SO STINKING BAD!!! As well as how all of the creatures got there! I am dying to know!!!! I will keep coming back to your story in hopes of finding out!
ReplyDeleteHey Lily! Finally get to read your storyboard and I’m super excited :D
ReplyDeleteThe coverpage intrigues you right away, which was really nice. The picture was really nice and the layout looks great. I love the set up your introduction page gives. The news report angle is really nice, and the names all look highly authentic. It looks like a real news report, and your made up university email just adds a nice touch of realism. It also helps to explain the topic adequately and evokes curiosity. It’s missing a picture, but with the layout I’m not really sure that one would fit.
The stories you have are great, the layout reminds me a bit of discarded paper you find in video games that explains the story bit by bit. The authors notes could use a bit more substance as to the actual story explanation, but it’s generally easy to get the gist. The writing is really well done, and the sheer variety of all your creatures is wonderful to see.
Overall it’s a great project! I’m really excited to see it all and can’t wait to read the last two stories. It’ll be neat to see if there’s any purpose to her being there, or if she’ll meet someone like The Collector (Guardians of the Galaxy).
OH MY GOODNESS. The most recent story, Entry 23, I think is my favorite so far. It answers so many questions, gives us more background to the girls family, even what could have possibly brought her to the island! But then we have so many new questions!!! Who is the na daoine maithe? Why is the zoo there? Where did the other creatures come from? Where is the zoo? What did the other creatures do to get there? What did the girl actually do to get herself there? Will she ever get home? I WANT TO KNOW SOOOOO BAD!!! I actually have a quick link to your story I like it so much... You do such a great job of pulling the readers in to every single one of your stories in so many different ways. And I love how you subtly work the storytelling into your storybook and work it to your own needs. I feel like that is what I do, but I think I twist them around a lot more sometimes. Anyway, I am so stinking excited to read more if you end up putting another story up! Even if you don't have to you so should... otherwise I might die of curiosity... Keep up the amazing work!
ReplyDeleteThank you for commenting on my story about the envious neighbor. I chose to portray the story from the dog’s point of view because my dog actually passed away last September and I miss her every day and telling the story like the dog is still watching over the owners brought me some comfort. I’m super sentimental in that way, I guess. Haha. So, I thought that would add a happier tone to the story. I am an animal-lover, as well and hated the idea of the dog just dying. So, I told it from doggy heaven (which is totally real!). I also really like the total of your blog page "Your brain on myth". I thought that was really funny.
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