[Week 6] Essay - The Friendly Sarcasm Punctuation Mark

(Sarcasm shirt from Acid Pix on Flickr)

                If I were an all-powerful grammar god, I would want to create punctuation marks specifically for used with text messages or social media. I have a few in mind, but I’ll just write about one of them today. I consider this one to be the most potentially useful for my emotions and I, as I’m a fairly sensitive person who tends to take people literally.

                Maybe it’s just me, but the limited amount of emotions that can be portrayed through text message make me feel like I can’t quite pick up on little signs and nuances that I rely on when talking face-to-face or even over the phone. If someone were to tease me in person, I generally know not to take what they’re taking too seriously because I can see their mischievous smile and hear the laughter in their voice. Through text message, I find myself not being able to distinguish a joking “I hate you!” from a serious one. My idea would be to have a little symbol to use to show when someone wants to reassure the person they’re talking to that they’re being sarcastic.

                This isn’t something that I would want to see in all cases. This would be more like the method of using an asterisk (*) to correct a typo online. It’s not something that would be used in literature or official documents, only between friends in a casual setting and when the user feels it’s necessary. For example, if two people are always sarcastic with each other then they might not feel the need to use a sarcasm punctuation mark. I imagine people would use it to be friendly but still polite with people they don’t really know, or to reassure their friend who may be feeling down that they’re only teasing. 

               As far as the symbol goes, something easy to access on any keyboard would work best. For that reason, I think the ~ symbol would be nice. It’s used online today to add a bit of whimsy to a statement (at least that’s how I see it, for example “hello~~~!” is more playful than “hello!”), but other than that its use seems to be fairly limited in text messaging and social media.

                The idea for this sarcasm marker was born out of my own experiences and oversensitivity. I don’t think it’s something that is truly needed, nor do I think it would be a good thing to overuse. Imagine if people started using the sarcasm symbol sarcastically! It could also be perceived as a put-down if the person being spoken to thinks they’re being treated like they’re unintelligent. But for things like text messaging, I think it would be a nice option.

Example usage:

"~I just really hate you sometimes~."

"I'm not sure realizes how ~incredible~ his eyebrows are."

"~GREAT JOB~, friend."

"You don't understand calculus because you're ~stupid~."

[Week 6] Storytelling - The Sparrow's Revenge

Author's Note: This is the story of the Sparrow with the Split Tongue as told from the point of view of the sparrow. The original story is basically the same, except it focuses on the old man. I thought it was a really sweet story (although the ending is pretty grim) so I wanted to see what I could do with it. 

(Drawing of a sparrow by StevenWorthey on Deviantart)

I soared through a thick canopy of trees, just barely grazing my feathers on the branches. I hoped I could throw off the raven who flew close behind, as I know he wasn’t after me for a friendly conversation. And he looked like he would take great pleasure in tearing me apart. Either I wasn’t quite as agile in my sparrow form as I thought, or the raven was incredibly fast and graceful. Probably the former. I hadn’t taken to flight in such a long time and now I was remembering why. Humans are easier to reason with than hungry ravens!

I was beginning to lose hope when I caught sight of an old man in front of his cottage. Forgetting I couldn’t speak as a sparrow, I tried to cry out for help while I approached him but all that came out of my beak was a screech. But it was enough and the man offered to shelter me within his hands. I was happy for the chance at refuge and glided myself into them. The man may have been old, but he was certainly not lacking in compassion or energy. He stomped and yelled at the crow until it gave up on its chase and then he took me into his house and put me in a little cage.

Having never been kept as a pet before, I found the confines of the cage to be stifling. If someone had told me before that I would be taken away from my complete freedom to live in a small enclosure, I would have scoffed at them. But it was hard to not feel like a princess with the treatment I received from the old man. Sure, I had a limited amount of space to move around in, but being in a cage inside of a house meant no nasty ravens would be eating me! And the food the man gave me tasted better than anything I could have ever found for myself in a market or the forest. I was let out every day to spread my wings and get some fresh air, and immediately allowed back inside when I was done or being chased. The old man and I formed an odd friendship, one without language or much of anything that usually goes into friendships, really. But he found peace in helping me and I enjoyed my worry-free life, and we enjoyed each other’s presence very much.

The man’s wife, however, was a different story. When she tore into my cage the moment the man left to run errands, I wasn’t surprised. I knew that she was an irrational enough woman to become jealous of a pet, and I assumed I would be fast enough to fly away from her if she tried to harm me. I was able to dodge her hands and get myself out of the cage before she could grab me, but the old woman was smarter than she looked and managed to trap me into a corner. At that moment, I was sure she would kill me. For whatever reason she instead chose to pry open my beak and slit my tongue. The pain was blinding. Before I knew it, I was fleeing to my old home in the bamboo thicket cowering in my bed in my human form. I needed my friend’s comfort but I didn’t dare return to his home to face his wife.

A few days passed and I got over the trauma enough to leave my house. Pushing my door open, I was shocked to find the old man standing in front of my house looking around puzzled. I excitedly explained to him that I was his friend the sparrow and made him come inside to visit. Hours later he stood up reluctantly, saying he needed to take his leave. Probably because he didn’t want his wife to split his tongue too. Before he left, I gave him the choice between two chests: a smaller, modest chest and a larger, fancier chest. Being a selfless man, I wasn’t surprised when my friend took the smaller chest. He would find it filled with expensive jewels and small treasures when he opened it, and I hoped it would serve as a good thank you present.

I thought that was the end of my troubles with the man’s wife, but one day she showed up at my door fuming and boastful. I was caught off guard when she pushed past me and marched into my house, demanding to be entertained. I was scared and confused, but then I remembered the trick I always had prepared for visitors such as this one. After a bit of pretend-entertaining, I told the woman she needed to leave. As I expected, she demanded a present. I didn’t hesitate when I offered her the same boxes I offered her husband. I knew she would take the larger chest, as those who are greedy and ill-of-heart tend to do. I laughed to myself as she hauled the heavy box out of my house and into the forest. She would not find treasures inside the box, but poisonous snakes that would attack her the moment she opened it. No man would regret her loss, and my friend and I could once again live our happy lives.

The Pink Fairy Book by Andrew Lang and illustrated by H. J. Ford (1897).

[Week 6] Reading Diary - Japanese Fairy Tales (Lang)

Japanese Fairy Tales (Lang)

The Two Frogs

- An adorable story about two frogs who happen to meet each other while on their way to each other's city. They become friends and talk on top of a mountain. Then they get the idea to stand on their hind legs using each other to balance so they can see the cities they were headed to. That way, they can tell if it looks worthwhile to continue on their journeys. They don't realize that their eyes are in the back of their heads and when they stand up, they both see where they had just come from and decide to turn back and go home.

The Stonecutter

- A mountain spirit grants a stone-cutter several wishes. He goes becomes rich, then a prince, the sun, a cloud, a rock, and then a human again. In all the forms except his normal poor human self, he found that he was unsatisfied with something. So in the end when he is human again, he realizes that he's had it good all along.

The Maiden with the Wooden Helmet

- A dying mother worries that her beautiful daughter will be harassed when she is fending for herself, so while on her deathbed she has the daughter get a wooden helmet. She tells her to wear the helmet at all times so nobody can see her face. Later, the girl ends up being seen while working by the son of the house master. He is determined to marry her and eventually, after her mother comes to her and tells her it's a good idea, she consents. She is married in her helmet but afterwards in bursts and turns into diamonds and everyone is amazed by her beauty.

The Envious Neighbour

- So sad. But justice is served! An elderly couple have a dog that they treat like a child. The dog finds treasure in their garden and the couple become rich. A neighbor gets jealous and asks to borrow the dog. The couple eventually gives in and allows it, but when the dog finds nothing but bones in the neighbor's yard, he kills it. The elderly couple is sad but the dog comes to the husband at night and gives him instructions. They end up being even more rich and the neighbor grows more envious but every time he tries to repeat what they did, something bad happens. In the end, he's locked up in jail and shunned by the community. 

The Sparrow with the Slit Tongue

- A nice old man saves a little sparrow one day and keeps it as his pet. It's happy and safe in its cage and it likes the old man. But the man's wife is basically evil and becomes jealous of the bird so she cuts its tongue. The bird flies away and the man is sad. He spends days looking for it and is just about to give up when he comes upon a little house in a bamboo thicket. A woman comes out of the house and says she is the sparrow he saved. She lets him choose between a big chest and a little chest as a present. He takes the little one and at home discovers it's full of jewels. The wife is enraged that he didn't pick the bigger one and visits the sparrow's house. She demands a gift and picks the big chest. Inside there are snakes that poison her and she dies.

The Cat's Elopement

- Two cats fall in love but because of their owners, they can't be together. They meet every night instead. One night, a dog/ogre attacks and the male, Gon, cat tries to fight it. The female cat, Koma, cries loudly from a tree until a princess comes out and saves Gon. He becomes a helpful pet to her. A while later, while wishing to see Koma, Gon sees a little kitten being bullied by a bigger cat. He rescues it and realizes it's Koma. They are happy to be together and tell their story to the princess, who happily keeps them both.

Schippeitaro

- For some reason this one really confused me. It's about a man who goes out looking for adventure and he comes across cats singing and shrieking. He learns of a dog named Schippeitaro who I think stops the (king of the) cats from eating young women. The boy helps the dog kill the cats. 

The Crab and the Monkey
- A nice crab finds some rice and trades a monkey half of it for his kaki seed. She uses it to grow a kaki tree full of fruit. The monkey stops by and gets the crab's permission to have some fruit but ends up stealing it all for himself. The crab tries to trick the monkey so she can get some of the fruit back, but he beats her up. Her friends help her set up a trap to punish the monkey and he dies.

The Magic Kettle

- A man is happy that he found a nice kettle but when he tries to use it it turns into a tanuki. Not wanting to deal with it, he sells it to a man named Jimmu. Jimmu ends up using the tanuki to make a lot of money by setting up a booth and having it dance for crowds. He wants to repay the man he bought it from so he gives him the kettle and lots of gold.

How the Wicked Tanuki was Punished

-A fox and a tanuki need money so the tanuki pretends to be dead and the fox changes into a man and goes to sell the "dead" tanuki in a village. She does so and uses the money to buy food and the tanuki manages to escape, glad that he can climb trees. Eventually they run out of money and the fox decides it's her turn to act dead. The tanuki decides he wants more food for himself and his son so he tells the buyer the fox isn't really dead and he kills her. The son ends up realizing that his father had his mother killed and tricks the tanuki into getting killed himself.

The Slaying of the Tanuki

- An old man leaves food out for his friend the hare every day but it always gets stolen or destroyed by a tanuki. The old man captures the tanuki but it manages to sweet talk his wife and kills her. It even feeds his wife to him without him knowing. When he finds out he is grief stricken and the hare decides to help him. He plays a prank on the tanuki by burning his back and then covering it in a painful salve, but the old man says it isn't enough. Together they build two boats and use them in a plan to kill the tanuki. The old man is happy that his wife is avenged.

Uraschimataro and the Turtle

- Uraschimataro saves a young turtle who in turn later saves him when he is thrown from his boat during a storm. The turtle wants to take him under the water to show him how nice it is. They traveled for three days until they arrived at a palace. The princess of the palace, Otohime, immediately falls in love with Uraschimataro and asks him to stay with her. She does stay with her, but after a while he ends up missing his parents. Otohime begs him to stay but he decides to go. He promises to do something so that he can go back to her. He had been underwater for 300 years and found out his parents had died. He opens the box that Otohime had given him and turns very old. He dies while waiting for the turtle to show up to take him back.